Bitch Rant: I'm Late, I Know It and Have Zero Regrets

Hey Bitches,

Yeah, yeah, yeah (not unlike the group THE Yeah Yeah Yeahs), I'm late and I know it. For those who are like, "What do you mean you're late?" I'm late posting at the end/beginning of each month, which I said I would be doing. However, I warned you that I may need to be reminded. So guess what? NO ONE REMINDED ME. I'm blaming Mercury in Retrograde like I'm doing all things right now.

Since I'm late, had zero posts last month and already mentioned the Yeah Yeah Yeahs...

Time to see how to walk the streets of New York City with ZERO regrets.

After you are done watching the video, we can start discussing my need for Karen O's studded leather jacket (pictured above). The need can also be yours. Remember, bitches wear leather.

Picture thanks to: styleinspades.com

Have zero regrets, my bitches.

Bitch Rant: May I Have Sleek Ones

Hey Bitches,

I'm calling this, "Bitch Rant," and I will hopefully do these at the end of each month (if I remember to write them, please remind me).

For my May rant, it is apropos that it coincides with a holiday weekend including cookouts, parties and thus dealing with people's social interactions I both like and despise. Let me explain. People in group situations can either be fun or a nightmare - mostly it ends up being a complete and utter nightmare. Budding romances specifically between guys and gals have the opportunity to dissipate when the guys you think worth your time show their true colors by either flocking to a gaggle of obnoxious homeboys or, to further annoyance, flocking to numerous ladies who are awful but they think lovely since the sun has baked their beer soaked brains. Ah boys, they get bored so easily. That's why we need more men in the world. Ah, but I digress for now.

However at first very frustrating, in the long run this is a good thing. One is able to receive useful clarity by witnessing people in their finest party hour and it is easier to identify the true cool cats and dope dogs (or shall I say, dawgs?). It stings when the crazies win over the cool folks. When that's the case, time to change your scenery.

I am getting too old to deal with ridiculous, unsleek people. It's time to get in with the sleek and out with the ratty-rats.

Below is a small sample of THE SLEEK:

Bitches need the sleek and to be sleek to survive. Both are becoming INSTINCT and I will NOT let that happen!

PS - It is no mistake I am featuring TWO princesses and older aged ones above. 

Get with the sleek and be sleek, my bitches.

Bitch Style: Goth Drag Appreciation Day

Hey Bitches,

In celebration of National Goth Day (I know, I didn't know it was either until this morning), I have put together a small collection of some of my favorite "Goth" Drag portraits. I am using the ridiculous quotes around the word GOTH because one (or two) may not be completely labeled as GOTH. Also, yes, I didn't include some YOU think I should've included. TOO BAD. That's what makes us different. Plus, I only had a bit to put this together and well, I'm a bitch so get over it.

I love you...maybe.

BOY GEORGE

TIM CURRY

ANDY WARHOL

and ANDY WARHOL

and ANDY WARHOL

and ANDY WARHOL

Yeah, I have a similar wig of the one directly above. Good choice, Andy.

Keep dragging on, my bitches.

Bitches Love Good Music: Mountain of Love

Mountain of Love By Harold Dorman (1960)

And of course, some others have done their take on it too...

Johnny Rivers (in 1964)

Bruce Springsteen (Live in 1975)

Put the needle down slow, my bitches.

Bitches Drink Wine

Hey Bitches,

As I previously stated about bitches and booze (if you you don't know what I'm talking about, click here), bitches should always keep it simple and sophisticated. Wine, of course, is included. It's what bitches drink. I have located a timely picture to further emphasize this statement. Please see below:

WINE. It's what's for dinner.

So yes, young boy with your wine, you are correct. We love wine. Bring it to us so we may continuing drinking it!

Keep the wine flowing, my bitches.

Bitch TV: ABC Likes Bitches?

The American Broadcast Company (ABC) needs to settle down. Yes, we know bitches are cool, but having two shows in your programming with a bitch named theme at the same time is a bit silly. Could this be a case of poor planning? I guess all of us bitches should thank ABC for saluting the bitch name but remember, we are smarter than this and this isn't smart.

Even though I love Kristin Chenoweth, I have not watched either of these shows yet and I'm not sure I want to. The only chance I would perhaps tune in is if the shows were played back-to-back. Especially since the tag for GCB is "Love Thy Neighbor." But wait, you said DON'T TRUST THE B---- IN APT 23...and love is trust!

Now that's smart.

Words of Wisdom From Miss. Jo Foxworth

Below are the Nine Commandments for Women in Business by Miss. Jo Foxworth. The Commandments were noted in 1965 before she spoke before the National Convention of the Advertising Federation of America. A clipping from the Tri City Herald newspaper on Thursday, July 1, 1965 as reported by BOSTON (AP) can be seen above.

Miss. Jo Foxworth was the President of the Advertising Women of New York and a vice president and creative director of the New York firm of Calkins and Holden.


Nine Commandments for Women in Business:

CAREER CODE

First: Thou shall try harder: thou need not be No. 2. (It is the first order of business to prove to the men that we mean business about our careers).

Second: Thou shall know when to zip thy ruby lips and let the men do the talking. (the longer we hold out on the men, the harder they'll listen when we do break down and give them the inside, straight picture).

Third: Thou shall not attempt to hide behind thine own petticoat. (Petticoats don't hide nearly so much as they used to. Nowadays they're apt to reveal rather more than they conceal).

ONLY LIPSTICK

Fourth: Thou shall speak softly and carry no stick, save lipstick. (All of us have known the female whose voice, under stress' goes up so many decibels that it could set fire to the sure on a rat's back).

Fifth: Thou shall serve thy lady boss as graciously as thou serves any man. (How can we expect to survive as lady bosses ourselves if we give the girls above us a hard way to go-and keep insisting that we'd rather work for men?).

Sixth: When success cometh thou shall not get too big for thy bustle. (A man grown too great for his own raiment is hard enough to take, but a woman who is too big for her own bustle is impossible).

WATCH WORDS

Seventh: Thou shall watch thy language; there may be gentlemen present. (A lot of our current smart talk drifted up to a polite society from the dock walloper, but when the girls start bandying it about it's particularly unsmart).

Eighth: Thou shall not match martinis with the men. (Some women can drink some men under the table - but a man under the table can still be dangerous).

Ninth: Thou shall save they sex appeal for after 5. (Sex around the office is like alcohol on the highway).

Miss Foxworth added: Anyone who trys to fathom the feminine mystique would be making a "mistaque."

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In my opinion, Miss. Foxworth's Nine Commandments should be read by all working women (girls). Actually, they should be read by everyone. Even though she declared these in the sixties, I feel many still hold true today. Or if anything, they are worthy to take note. So...

TAKE NOTE and Let the River Run.

Even though this Working Girl did not abide by all of Miss. Foxworth's advice. Some bitches got to do things a little differently sometimes. Hey, it was the eighties.