Ski on a Caribbean Cruise

Put your skis or board on and do some runs while on a cruise ship in the Caribbean? Excuse me, what? Oh yeah, this is 100% true. I couldn't believe my eyes when I first saw the picture of the cruise ship (see above).

Brought to you by a company called Iglu Cruise, Caribbean Skiing starts December 15, 2011. The cruise is for 7 nights of Caribbean and mountain fun! Can you say skiing in your bikini? I know the lads were thinking it.

The itinerary has you flying out of the UK (so do I have to fly to UK from USA first?) to Barbados and then cruising to places like St. Lucia and St. Vincent. Talk about a party ship. I don't need to remind any of you about skiers and boarders with our après-ski. This is a 7 night après-ski party! I'll see everyone in the hot tub.

To check out all the details and pricing, visit the Iglu Cruise website.

Joe the Ski Patroller...

Ah, yes. It's like the internet is my true best friend these days. All these great finds lately! And here's another:

Well hello Joe! I mean, hello GI Joe Ski Patrol 1965-66 stud doll I wish I had. 

I found this gem the other day on a fellow blogspot blog: easilyamusedhardtooffend.blogspot.com.  The blog master's (Trisha Too) post was back in 2009.  She was trying to sell some items. Oh, if only I stumbled upon this last year!

GI Joe Ski Patroller would be a fun and nice companion, no doubt.

Holiday Skiing. Just add more alcohol?

Every ski resort seems to have specials most days on and off the slopes. There's even more specials around holiday time, Hallmark holidays included. Of course St. Patrick's Day is no exception with lift tickets and drink specials.  For instance, America's Family Resort of Smugglers' Notch in Vermont is offering discounted lift tickets today. Wear green and adults can ski all day for $39, kids for $29. Acclaimed Squaw Valley in Tahoe, CA has specials and more importantly, Lenny The Leprechaun rocking the slopes!  If you are lucky to see Lenny, he'll give you a prize out of his gold pot. Now, that may sound suspicious but indeed fun.

Catch that edge, Lenny! (Photo courtesy of Squaw.com)

We all know skiers and snowboarders don't need a holiday to do celebratory damage pre/during/après-ski. Snow enthusiasts have been witnessed drinking beer and doing shots starting at 10AM.  Like something's new for St. Patrick's Day?  Well as the Irish Pubs open at 6AM today, the bars on mountains still open at 10AM (probably a good thing). Regardless, mountain lovers party hard all the time. Is doing car bombs at the Steeps Bar of McCoy Station on Mammoth Mountain different today? Sure, because today they are "lucky" car bombs. Let's just hope everyone remains safe out there and no one turns the lovely white snow into green stains of upchuck. 


But really, keep it safe. You'd think there would be major reports of snow lovers getting overly wasted in high altitudes and causing problems on a day-to-day basis, but au contraire. Are they just used to it?  What about the slopes first-timers? Skiers should teach the sloppy drunks today a lesson.

Speaking of Backside...

Browsing the fantastic skinet.com, my eyes stumbled on an equally fantastic picture of a backside. Not a mountain's backside but a gentleman's peaking out of a Salomon Conspiracy one piece ski suit. The same chemical green (yes, that's what it's color name is) one piece that big mountain skier Cody Townsend was giving away earlier this season on his website.

Intrigued of course, I clicked on the picture and read Todd Bove's review of this power suit. Good for backcountry and deep powder days but more importantly, it can hold 17 beers for apres ski! Any man's dream. All sounds worthy, right? I've never been a fan of one piece snow suits for myself, but I would go skiing with the guy and his showingly backside sense of humor. Hey, I'll be sporting my Salomon boots. We'd be a Salomon advertisement billboard.

It appears to be a high selling item (for packing all those beers perhaps). It's sold out on the Salomon website! Regardless, you can check out the details HERE and try to score one elsewhere. Good luck, as I've tried to search the notable sites (backcountry.com, backcountryoutlet.com, etc.).

Single? Meet a Valentine on a Chairlift this weekend.

I've said it before. People meet on the mountain. My parents and filmmaker Warren Miller met his wife on the slopes. Most of the time it happens during après ski, but how about on the chairlift?

Image by © Condé Nast Archive

This Valentine's day weekend, there are several ski resorts hosting Chairlift Speed Dating for singles. And it's not their first time. Many have been doing it for a few years already due to success rates! If you think about, it's a great idea if people aren't super serious about it. You could get unlucky with a crazy who takes it to the limit (chairlift speak or The Eagles for music fans). Regardless, all in good fun. I'm planning on skiing this weekend, but the resorts nearby don't seem to be offering. Now if you live in Oregon or Idaho, you've got it made with more than one option. Also, these are only for heterosexual matching-up so if you're looking for some same sex action, these aren't for you.


If anyone tries it, please let me know how it goes!


OREGON
Mt. Bachelor Ski Resort (fitting for the name, right?)
Mt. Hood Meadows Ski Resort 


NEW HAMPSHIRE
Black Mountain Ski Resort 


IDAHO
Schweitzer Mountain Resort 
Brundage Mountain Resort 

Snowballin' (Après-Ski) Film Reviewed!

The wait has ended!  I found, I received, I watched, and now I will review.  You know which film I'm talking about.  The one who's amazing poster I posted, Après-Ski. The 1971 French-Canadian after dark film (that's right, AFTER DARK) was directed by Roger Cardinal.  I should have assumed that due to a certain nipple exposure on the poster, it was an AFTER DARK feature. Regardless, the bright-eyed swoomer was fooled. I mean, it is a 1971 French-Canadian film. 


Let's first look at the film's description according to NETFLIX:

"Journey back to the sexually liberal world of 1971 Canada, where hunky ski instructors find wintertime fun with a bevy of beautiful snow bunny students. Celine Lomez and future U.S. soap celeb Daniel Pilon star in this sex farce on the slopes. Filmed in the gorgeous mountains of Quebec, Snowballin’ – also know as Après-Ski – features lots of naughty humor and a hip soundtrack."


Unfortunately, the copy I watched was dubbed in English. I never prefer dubbed, even action based foreign films. I like hearing the actor voices, not the bad dubbing actors (even if the actual actors are bad).  However, I think the dubbed version is all that's available. 


The top menu is brilliant. There's a selection of film clips playing with the title track of the film, Après-Ski by Céline Lomez. Initially surprised and caught off guard, there are naked women in the clip selects. Wow. Okay, so it's that type of movie. Continuing on to play, the beginning title sequence is mostly a naked couple spooning without the title cards. Then, after 2/3 of the song, the titles begin to play. Another surprise. Wow. At this point, I official realize it's not just a sexy international flick. I forge ahead.


More unfortunate bad news. This sex farce film is lacking content, ski moments, and good dialogue. Okay, it's funny to hear the dubbing choices calling a ski instructor a "professor" but the other lame dialogue makes me hope it's the dubbing company who messed up, not the actual screenwriter. My favorite line of the film is near the end. It's by the new good-looking ski "professor" Phillip's (Daniel Pilon) last conquered ski bunny. Poor Phillip is genuinely falling in love with her, Karen, the sexy blonde model. He tries to stop her before she leaves the next morning with her photographer/soon to be husband, Bob. When he asks her why she stayed with him last night, her response is classic: "Things happen at night, but then comes another day." Poetic, ski bunny Karen. Phillip chases after them in his car, but stops when he sees 2 ladies hitchhiking on the side of the road. And that's the end of the movie. 


So Phillip, not really into Karen as much as you thought, huh? Back to your ways of keeping ski bunny score cards with the other two "professor" buddies?


A shocking moment that stood out is the 3 ski "professor's" snowmobiling with ladies and only the men are wearing helmets. There's a crash and one of the guys is carried away in an ambulance. Don't worry, his honey riding on the back sans helmet is not hurt. Another is watching Phillip throw a naked woman off a balcony into a pile of snow. Don't worry, he and the other clothed "professor's" leapt after. Ah, the seventies.


The soundtrack is highly enjoyable, and overall the film was amusing. Out of a 2 skis/2 poles rating, I give it 2 poles. Yes, you can enjoy that pun. I know I did.