Bitches Don't Gossip: Bitches Are Gossip

"Did you hear what that bitch said?" 

"Yes, yes I did."

Hey Bitches,

In case you aren't aware, in order to be a righteous, awesome bitch, you don't worry about gossiping. Why? Bitches ARE the gossip! Have you ever heard phrases like, "Did you hear what that bitch said?" or "Do you know what that bitch did?". Of course you have, and most likely the person asking these questions (gossiping) wishes she/he was that bitch. 

As a bitch, people want to be you. They may not admit it out loud but trust me, those thoughts are doing the backstroke in their swimming pool heads. Remember, bitches are power and everyone craves power. If you are a true bitch, you don't need to gossip since you will be the gossip and people will be talking about you.

So how do you start being a part of the gossip? Well, whatever you do, make sure it's crazy (you can refer back to the 5 beginning steps of Being The Bitch). Maybe throw some stuff, yell or say fuck a lot to one person in particular or to inanimate objects. Computers can especially be an excellent source for aggressively cursing. Be careful at work, however. You don't want to seem TOO crazy to work colleagues. Bitches are professional.

Bitch on, my bitches